By around of applause, how do you feel?

ARG!

I'm going insane.
I need something or someone to do!

Someone, anyone, please suggest something or come find me.

I'll be the one banging my head against a wall.

By a round of applause, how do you feel?

Last week was spent sitting in my fucking crappy apartment and eating shit so yeah.

I went to Las Vegas last week and did a show that Senor Tommy Lee set me up with. Here's a clip if you need something to brighten your day!



[OOC: I know, I know. Dane is an aspiring comedian, but I needed an act and this makes me laugh really hard. Pretend it's a small show.]

I don't have much to talk about.
Not to many people have I met yet.
BUT I did meet a Jack in fucking Starbucks where it too TWENTY FUCKING MINUTES or MORE to get something.
I mean come on. It's not like us common folk have twenty or more fucking minutes to spend waiting to get a drink!

Stupid starbucks.

Whoa. Okay, I finally got around to making one of these.

Now that I actually got around to forking up the cash for a computer.

Fucking technology. Seriously, some people live off of this. Like, no other life exists for that one fat ass that wakes up and grabs his three jelly donuts and sits down in his way too expensive chair that no one will ever see because no one ever wants to come over to his house because he is fucking weird.

I'm not one of those guys. If I was, I probably wouldn't be standing in front of people and dancing around, making jokes and ranting about shit that people find funny.

Actually, I find myself pretty funny too. Wanna' test me? Hit me up at lolz its dane and I'll put your sense of humor to shame.

That's right. To shame.

Oh right. My name's Dane Cook by the way. How weird would it be if I never told you little freaks my name? That would be really funny.

And cruel. Because you should all know who I am. All of you.